Look at the dildo.

Now back at me.

Now back at the dildo.

Now back at me.

Sadly, that dildo is far smaller than me.

But if you stop using pathetic small American dildoes and switched to riding Russians bareback, you too could experience giant pleasure from giant penis.

Look up, look back down.

Where are you?

You’re in bed, with a manly Russian man.

What’s in your hand?

Back at me.

I have it.

Is a platinum bottle of vodka.

Look again.

Is now studded with diamonds!

Anything is possible when you are with Russian man and not stupid American or tiny dildo.

I’m on a bear.